Autumn to me feels like a shorter span of time than the month of February. It goes by so quickly and I crave more time to enjoy it. It’s my favorite season and with it being winter I’m glad I captured a bit of its beauty in the street before the snow arrived. Until we meet again fall.
“Make yourself feel at home”, is what we tell people when they are a guest in your house. I’ve never felt at home in the sense of this is my hometown since I’ve moved so much. Home isn’t a physical place to me. Since I’ve battled depression a majority of my life “home” certainly wasn’t a mental state of being for me.
I consider home to be when I feel peace and happiness. Although I have a family that cares about me home is not with them. I have a boyfriend that loves me but home is not fully with him either. Home is where unconditional love is and although my boyfriend and my family are great home wouldn’t be nearly home for me without my cat, Katniss. She is simply the best little fluff ball and always puts me at ease when this world feels like too much.
One day I’m hoping that home is within my own mind but as I continue to work on that, for now home is where the cat is.
I wonder how many people have failed at their resolutions so far? I also wonder how many have made the same one as the past years. Where’s the fun in making a resolution if it’s only going to stress you out. I’m a chubby girl and I can go with the quintessential lose weight because this year is different routine or go with something I actually look forward to.
I know it’s February but I’m still going to share with you all what mine are. I only made two resolutions for this year. The first is to actually finish the 52 week money challenge. The challenge is saving money each week according to what number of the week it is so $1 on week 1, $2 on week 2, $3 on week 3, and so on. Then at the end of the year you have $1,378 to treat yo’ self!
The second is to do something fun every month. I figured having something to look forward to each month will not only be fun but also help with my depression. Last month I saw Beauty and the Beast the musical and this month I met Keith Pollard who is a comic book artist and he drew me one of my favorite heroes but that’s a story for another day.
If you have resolutions, how are they going?
Working at an office of a well known university I come in contact with people from all over the world. A student came by to put money on his id card. We only accept cash or check in our office. So he gives me cash and was about to hand me cash from his country as well, I told him we can’t accept that and he jokingly says I know. I add the money to his id card and I hand it back to him. He then hands me money from his country of Guatemala and says “I want you to have a little piece of my country”, smiles, and tells me to have a good day. So far this is one of the most random yet awesome things that’s happened at work.
I showed my manfriend it and he then gives me a piece of money from the Ukraine.
So now I have something from the Ukraine and Guatemala without even traveling there! A girl from work who is from China said that she might bring me a piece of Chinese money for Chinese new year and that I can start a collection. I love learning more about other cultures but I haven’t encountered any other forms of currency until recently. It makes me wonder why are other currencies so much prettier than American currency.
A coffee shop that use to be a strip club? My friend Crystal and I decided this year we are going to discover small businesses in town that we’ve never been to. Our first stop was a coffee shop called Sacred Grounds. We would have never realized it existed if it wasn’t for yelp mainly because it’s in an area that we don’t frequent.
I’m easily amused by anything that’s cute, not overwhelming, and makes you feel at home. When you first walk in you are on the coffee shop side and if you want you can walk to the dining area, we stayed on the coffee shop side. Crystal ordered a coffee and I got the milky way. I don’t like the candy bar but I loved this drink!
Crystal left to go to the bathroom after she ordered which left me alone waiting for my drink. Crystal likes to jokingly say that I make a friend everywhere we go which is kind of true I have to admit. While waiting the guy making my drink (the manager I believe) told me about how the coffee shop use to be a strip club but it was bought to by a church and made into what it is now. You do see the religious aspect everywhere in the building. The table we sat at had pages from the book of John on it, there were crosses, a jesus sign, and other things that were either from the bible or correlate with Christianity.
The manager also told me that they have signed bands typically from Nashville that play every month. So we decided one day we would have to check one out. Crystal and I found a table (the book of John table) that was in a corner up the stairs. We loved that table because we could see everything, feel like we were in our own v.i.p. area and there is a lampshade made out of bottle caps beside our table. I know that amused me like no other. Even if you aren’t religious you can’t deny how great this coffee shop is once you’ve been in it unlike other coffee shops there was a sense of calm in Sacred Grounds.
Disclaimer: The beginning of this post does start off mentioning my experience with depression if that’s a trigger for you I wouldn’t read this.
The earliest I remember having the feeling of I don’t belong in this world and being so angry when I woke up still breathing is six years old. The oldest I saw myself being alive was 22 years old I figured I would kill myself before then. I have had this constant battle against my enemy, depression. I could be surrounded by my friends or family members and still feel alone. I was/still am very much an introverted person. It’s sometimes hard for me to connect with people.
Those feelings and thoughts contributed to my depression. My depression is always worst in the winter. Alongside anxiety and depression I have seasonal affective disorder (SAD). I hate the way I feel on depression medication so I stopped taking them and looked into other alternatives.
Light therapy is my current way of handling my disorder. I do a session of thirty minutes or longer a day in a room with an artificial light box either once or twice a day. I’ve been really responding well to it! Alongside therapy I’ve been exercising more to keep my serotonin levels up.
What does all of this have to do with my blog? Well, I’m using this blog as a way to realize the positive aspects in my life and share it with you all. Whether it’s finding a new recipe, crafting something, writing about something new I discovered that day, or anything else in my life. As long as it’s positive I want to write it here just to have something to look at when I feel the rush of negative thoughts or bad moments in my life.
Why the name Jubilee and a cup of tea? Jubilee is an occasion of rejoicing or festivity and I enjoy the word because it sounds like the most fun you’ll ever have. The “cup of tea part” is mainly because I’m a tea addict (I have a shelf just for tea in my cabinet) and it rhymed haha. I hope you enjoy the journey I’m going on this year and all the positive aspects of it.
I look forward to sharing it with you!